Liberation

- Lila Watson | ABORIGINAL ACTIVISTS GROUP, QUEENSLAND, 1970s
Poster by Ricardo (http://www.freewebs.com/edchx/)

The Facebook Diss

One of the exciting things about Facebook is the ability to connect with a variety of people from one's past and present at different levels even from a distance. Some of these friendships may be more agreeable, others not so much. Yet because of some common connection, be it a period in life, an interest or a common friend, we chose to label these people as 'friends' and share snippets of our lives with them and engage with their snippets in some form.

What happens to these friendships that are not so agreeable when those parts of our lives that conflict with one another become more apparent either through direct conversation or just the very presence of those snippets? I have just finished sending a very courteous message to an old Facebook friend who I realised deleted me recently asking what prompted her to take this action- I'm curious, really! We'd had some, I felt, decent dialogues about some political and religious statements made via Facebook but we always came to an amiable agree-to-disagree conclusion or we were able to see some kind of good in what one another was saying. We never did diss each other or get into a nasty fight. But clearly something occurred that has put her off of me.

It's made me think about the way that children engage in conflict. Oftentimes they take the route of 'silent treatment' or just avow themselves to no longer being friends whether that fact is communicated clearly or not. I wonder if Facebook is cultivating this approach to conflict and relational breakdown as well? I think there's a difference in culling one's friend list due to inactivity or indifference, but to have someone leave others on their list who are just as distant but more 'agreeable' just drop you seems to be a different case altogether. Will we in the future find that this impacts the way we deal with (or perhaps don't deal with but just move on from) conflict? Will this effect the relationships we choose to carry on ('I agree with your politics' or 'You don't say much that ruffles my feathers'), making our 'networks' even more homogeneous?

Food for thought.

'Alright I'll Cave' - November 2007

I dug this oldie up and dusted it off from Myspace. Hope you enjoy it.... he still makes me feel the same way!


November 20, 2007


I've had quite a past of writing about relationship woes... rather.... the woes of absent relationships. I've blogged about weirdos with hygeine problems. I've blogged about hiding behind racks of clothing to get away from dudes in pursuit. I've blogged about beat poets resembling Greek gods. I've blogged about hopes, dreams, what-if's and pity-parties. And yet... I have avoided blogging about the current 'In a Relationship' status to save your stomaches from turning or to keep the 'awwwwww's to a minimum. Even now I'm going to take a few gulps of wine and divulge here that I have met someone massively awesome. *pause for effect and a bit of blush (of the wine sort)*

I'm going to spare you the details of how we met and just say we've known each other for about a year yet never spoke. Both of us were in bad places at the time and frankly, we weren't terribly impressed by one another. Affiliations and work happened to throw us into the same boat at the end of the summer and finally we concluded that we needed to sit down for a good get to know you chat. Several coffee dates later, a few films, many more-than-bizarre conversations later, we decided that we should try this thing.... this thing called... 'us.' *cue Barry White*

Okay so now I've got this guy who I've grown rather fondly attached to (and hopefully he will comment at the end of this letting you all know that he too is rather fond of me hint hint ) in a pretty short amount of time. But I guess it's time I jumped on my 'I waited a long freaking time to be this happy and I'm going to tell the world' bandwagon. *cue sweaty televangelist Vickie, feverishly wiping dripping brow with hanky while inserting grunts after every important point, beckoning the necessary amens in all the right places*

Ladies: I have found that having high expectations is perfectly fine. True- you won't get everything you wanted. My Rob isn't very handy at DIY. But then I am. So hooray I get to hang all the shelves in the future unless I want them to crash down onto the floor. I always thought I'd end up with someone over 6'. Guess what? Turns out that someone just a few inches taller than me is a hell of a lot better. I thought he'd have dark hair. Nope. And you know what.... I couldn't have asked for any better. Sure he does make me want to beat him senselesssometimes but he's a man, I'm a woman and our brains just don't work the same sometimes (poor guy hahhaha ).

Okay, now for the sappy, this is how Rob treats me bit (because he's been chomping at the bit for me to publicly share all this hard work he's been putting into us- guys, this is your cue to get your notebooks).

- Rob likes to cuddle. I like to cuddle. We cuddle and he looks down at me and tells me things like "You look like a little eskimo", "You're so pretty", and simply "I love you."

- Rob goes into hysterical laughing fits because he thinks I'm cute. He just can't take it. (who could!?)

- Rob gets 1000 free texts each month. A good portion of these are spent sending letter-by-letter messages or xoxo's. He's also become accustomed to texting me comic strips in the mornings when he's on his way to university.

- Rob puts up with (and seems to understand) my silliness. I once cheered him up by pretending to be a turtle and demonstrating what it would look like for a turtle to kiss him.

- He has no adversion to talking about our grandchildren. He even brings the subject up himself.

- This past weekend I was not in a very good mood on Friday. He didn't know this but he called to see if we could meet at Starbucks for a coffee date. I showed up, less than glowing, to find that he'd somehow secured purple tulips (my favourite flower ever), he bought me coffee, listened to my crap (with a great deal of concern), then bought me pizza for dinner, prayed for me, and was generally awesome. The next day he held me while I sobbed for no real reason, prayed for me some more, and was generally awesome once again. The following day he also took me out for dinner. (and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few things in there somewhere...)

- Rob sings me songs all the time. Sometimes they're really silly, like comparing me to the flashing light on top of Canary Wharf. Other times it's all I can do to not cry.

I don't really know what I did to deserve this guy. I don't know how he puts up with me. I really really don't know how he can love me so much. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks sweetheart. You have the power of taking away my speech. 

"Eat Me." - Jesus Christ

I remember the first time I felt truly guilty during communion. It wasn't because I'd done something terrible the night before or anything like that... it was simply because this bread tasted so amazing! I wasn't sure if I was allowed to enjoy communion like that or not. After all, isn't it supposed to be bland, ritualistic, and holy (by holy I mean punishing)?

My views on communion have really changed since that experience. I think they change about every time I take communion outside of my traditional communion type experience. The last time I recall taking communion at The Bridge we had a large loaf of crusty bread and not a lot of people to distribute it between and I was the first person to get up for my dose. I tore off a massive piece of bread and went back to my seat and spent the next 5 minutes or better eating, chewing, thinking, praying, letting it really get into my heart and changing me. I loved looking at my friends and watching them eat slowly, knowing we were all taking the same sort of journey at the same moment. It just isn't an experience you can replicate with a small wafer identical in size and shape to a person across a large sanctuary from you.

Communion is not just about sacrifice as I was led to believe from childhood. It's not just about recalling how horrible you are, how in need of a saviour (which is perfectly true) because you're rubbish on your own. That kind of stuff really keeps you joined to your past actions and sins even though they've been forgotten by God. I'd always have to sift through my day and week to see how naughty I'd been so I could ask forgiveness. And eating that bread and drinking some cheap grape juice never made me feel any better afterwards. It was a futile exercise and it robbed me of the true experience of communion.

Communion is about identity. Identity with Christ and His life and death and resurrection. Identity with His spirit. It's also about identity with the church, the body of Christ. It's not a remote and individualistic practice that absolves a person of their personal sins. It knits us together in amazing ways as we all see each other through the eyes of love and sacrifice- things Christ wasn't called to alone- things that we are each called to on one another's behalf.

Rob wanted to take communion the other day before a meeting we had. We didn't have much in the house and we've used lots of different things for communion before so just finding something edible and drinkable wasn't foreign to us. He grabbed a Bourbon biscuit and some water. As we sat and thought about what it was we were doing I realised something- communion is costly. I know exactly what you're probably thinking right now- "yeah it cost Jesus a heck of a lot, didn't it?" That's not really what I mean even if it is true. We all know that and it doesn't always mean a lot to be truthful; it's like a cliche (sorry God...).

I was reminded of the little boy who offered his loaves and fish for feeding the crowd. He gave up his lunch! He was so trusting that somehow Jesus would make it work out so that everyone got to enjoy a bit of food that he risked losing it all. On the day that Jesus and the disciples took the last supper the owner of the upper room sacrificed some space for the crew to cook up a mean meal (he practiced hospitality, a subject I'm really getting into and it actually ties into this quite well- note to self: revisit). I seriously doubt they went down to the market to pick up a ready-meal so that means that this meal was quite the effort and was costly (in terms of time, not just money).

So they finally get to the point where Jesus grabs the loaf of bread, err the flatbread as it would've been, and does his thing. That bread is the very symbol we refer back to when doing communion. I think about the breads I've used in communion- ranging from stale wafers to pretzels to amazingly tasty bread- and yet it's never cost either myself or the person serving the bread much (a quick dash into the shop to pick up some cheap mass produced bread). Something's been lost. I have come to realise a couple things in dealing with communion in this:-

1- Jesus picked the most basic and affordable things on the table to institute communion so that everyone regardless of economic status could enjoy the practice. It unites us all across class boundaries and it's a humbling thing perhaps for the more affluent to get back to the basics. How beautiful. How thoughtful.

2- The bread itself cost something in terms of time and effort to make it (even if they did buy it at the market). Someone had to knead it, mix it, bake it, etc. No modern technology. I'm sure that modern communion wafers are probably somehow blessed by a few reverential words but just the effort of someone getting involved with the bread is a blessing to me.

I'd really like to adopt the practice of baking bread as a community to enjoy together in communion. The imagery of that would be so incredibly rich. And how much more sacred would it be?