Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Sunday, 8 August 2010

July (flew by!)

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Only after returning home in early August did I realise that I spent half of July away from home. Half of the away time was spent at Buddhafield Festival with the SPEAK Network. We brought our yurt to share our campaigns and to get to know people there. It was a really cool festival with great people and interesting conversations. Really chilled and enjoyable.


The following week I went with Rob to Freakstock Festival in Germany where he participated in a service, doing some storytelling on the theme of pilgrimage. He told the story of Tom Joad through the eyes of Woody Gutherie who wrote a folk song about Tom's journey during the dust bowl. It was great seeing Rob on that stage in front of so many people and speaking with such confidence. The festival was a great time to see old friends and make some new friends too.


We spent the following three days in Berlin, site-seeing and shopping in the alternative district of Kruezberg. It's good to be back in London now though, I must say! Enjoy some photos from our trip!

Friday Service @ Freakstock
Friday Service Crowd
Rob storytelling
Storytelling about The Joad Family and Pilgrimage
Impromptu gig  by band Praiser
"Peace Out"- Jesus Christ

Holocaust Memorial, Berlin

Brandenburg Gate
Checkpoint Charlie
Near the River Spree
East Side Gallery
So true.

Alexanderplatz

Part of the old wall

Photo Opp

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

The Facebook Diss

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One of the exciting things about Facebook is the ability to connect with a variety of people from one's past and present at different levels even from a distance. Some of these friendships may be more agreeable, others not so much. Yet because of some common connection, be it a period in life, an interest or a common friend, we chose to label these people as 'friends' and share snippets of our lives with them and engage with their snippets in some form.

What happens to these friendships that are not so agreeable when those parts of our lives that conflict with one another become more apparent either through direct conversation or just the very presence of those snippets? I have just finished sending a very courteous message to an old Facebook friend who I realised deleted me recently asking what prompted her to take this action- I'm curious, really! We'd had some, I felt, decent dialogues about some political and religious statements made via Facebook but we always came to an amiable agree-to-disagree conclusion or we were able to see some kind of good in what one another was saying. We never did diss each other or get into a nasty fight. But clearly something occurred that has put her off of me.

It's made me think about the way that children engage in conflict. Oftentimes they take the route of 'silent treatment' or just avow themselves to no longer being friends whether that fact is communicated clearly or not. I wonder if Facebook is cultivating this approach to conflict and relational breakdown as well? I think there's a difference in culling one's friend list due to inactivity or indifference, but to have someone leave others on their list who are just as distant but more 'agreeable' just drop you seems to be a different case altogether. Will we in the future find that this impacts the way we deal with (or perhaps don't deal with but just move on from) conflict? Will this effect the relationships we choose to carry on ('I agree with your politics' or 'You don't say much that ruffles my feathers'), making our 'networks' even more homogeneous?

Food for thought.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

Chatroulette - genius or sad?

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Following my blog post on Living Fully Present a couple weeks back I've just been introduced to Chatroulette, with many people saying it's just 'freaky'. On first glance I would certainly agree:

Log on, sit in front of your webcam, chat to a person face-to-face, hoping they won't peel their clothing off.

Daring to say the least. However, reading the following article my heart kind of breaks. Have we become SO digitized and removed from the 'real world' that this is the future? Have a read and let me know what you think...

Chatroulette Puts a Face on Social Networking | NBC Dallas-Fort Worth


Saturday, 20 February 2010

2010 and already a month gone by!

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Leave it to me to find a quality way of sending out 2009 with a bang- or rather a crunch! Rob and I were in California, 8 hours behind Big Ben, and I was shopping at a particular strip-mall in my hometown. Just before heading into the shop I noticed that it was about quarter to 4 in the afternoon and that our friends in London would be ringing in the new year in just minutes.

I headed into the store, didn't find what I wanted, walked back out and carefully put the car into reverse. I was backing out like nobody's granny (overly cautious not having driven in the last 15 months) under the watchful eye of my husband as well when all of a sudden I find myself engaged with a gentleman's passenger door. Happy New Year I tell you. Thankfully insurance covered it all and nobody seemed too bothered, aside from yours truly who was and still am quite convinced he was at fault for driving too quickly. Eight hours later we celebrated our own new years in the safety of my mom's hom
e, cozy with lots of food to munch.

If you've followed my blog you'll know that last year was a struggle. I'm content to see it leave it's dusty footprints on the way out and looking forward to getting dug into 2010. Having only returned from our trip the first week of February it seems like we'll have an 11 month year rather than the traditional 12. Fine by me.

I'm in the process of resolving some things. I'm not into resolutions because I don't have the resolve to stick to a year's worth of rules and don'ts just because 'they' say you should make them. Yet I am aware of the great opportunity to make things different in returning to London after a good deal of time away. If only I hadn't been fighting a terrible cold for 3 weeks once we returned I m
ight have made a better start of this. But nevertheless I'm going to start a rough sort of list of things I'm intending on for 2010 and beyond.

1. Having fun. I love fun. I've never been particularly un-fun. But I think my fun was spoiled last year and this year I refuse to give up my fun and I'm going to look at ways of creating fun every day. At least every week anyways. As a matter of fact, I've already applied for a fun job- playing games with adults (www.thefunfed.com)!

2. Creating. Not only will I create fun but I will make many more things- baked goods, meals, needlepoint, clothing, furniture, photos, things for the house, and a whole lot more. I've got off to a decent start having turned Rob's old leopard print laptop case into a cushion, framed a pic we brought back from Venice Beach, begun a needlepoint project with dear ol' Frankenstein and the phrase 'What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger', and I've cooked homemade soup nearly every night for a few weeks. I've altered some clothing that's been on the back burner for a while and I've got a jewelery project waiting for my attention on behalf of a friend.

3. Relationships. I majored in marine biology partly due to the fact that I'd rather hang out with fish who can't complain and get all complicated on you. Clearly God has other plans for me and wants people and all their complexities and dirt and wonderful goodness to rub off on me. And I think I'm feeling more prepared to get dirty, with the help of both numbers 1 and 2. I am determined to make this work come riches or poverty!

4. Spend less time online. EnergySuckingLifeDrainingTimeConsumingMachineOfEvil. I love the internet but I spend half my time on it doing jack squat. I check my email wayyyyy too much, act as if Facebook is the 'real world', and just lose out on a lot of 1, 2, and 3 as a result of being online too much. I need restrictions. See my previous blog post on the matter.

5. Find Shalom. As stated a couple posts back I'm really aching for some serious shalom to park itself in the centre of my life. I want to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I want to live freely and lightly. All this is found with the Divine Him and within my enhanced relationships. I'm endeavoring to do the Prayer of Examen every night for Lent in an attempt to evaluate my day's successes and failures so that time doesn't swish by so quickly and so that I can find that place of rest each day.

6. Get a haircut and get a real job. Why yes I did just use a George Thorogood song there... my apologies if that offends your musical sensibilities. I have,
in fact, owned the cassette single of that song in my lifetime. Yikes. Anyways, yes I need a job to maintain my haircut, my household, my social life, to care for the people I love (the known and the stranger), to help my church grow, and to get out of friggin debt. If you're hiring, I'm really lovely, quite employable, and fairly desperate.

7. Read more. There's an awesome bookshop here called Daunt's. There's one up by Hampstead Heath that I love because of it's location especially. Their books are all arranged by world region, as it use to be a travel bookstore but now it hosts other literature as well. I said when I first moved to the area that I'd like to some day read one book from each section at Daunt's. I got about half way through Notes from the Underground by Russian author Dostoyevsky but it was a bit too bleak for me so I need to get back on that bandwagon. And armed with my library card I don't see why not. Presently I'm reading Eyeless in Gaza by Aldous Huxley. I can't say I'm making my way through it too speedily but I'm going to stick with it.

I'm sure that I could add several more to that list but seven seems like a really good number and a great start for the year (off the top of my head I could easily add 'drink more wine' to that list!). I welcome suggestions on crafty projects, recipes, good books, activities to do with friends, people with money to give/pay me, and just general hellos and relational type greetings of the interweb and non-interweb sort :0) Have a great year!!

Tea Towl image: dollarstorecrafts.com

Saturday, 5 December 2009

Choosing Authenticity.

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We just finished up a series on 'Playing Your (Relationship) Cards Right' at The Bridge. It went really well and I find myself inspired and challenged to invest myself more into deeper, more authentic relationships with those around me and with God himself. Authenticity is of such value and it requires a real sense of humility, vulnerability, passion and love. We used a bit of the above quote from Brene Brown for the series and I thought you'd enjoy it as well. Let's make next year transformational in our relationships!

Friday, 10 July 2009

Facebooking God

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At the start of the year I made a resolution. I'm not big on new year's resolutions because I kind of see them as fake starts- like bad reasons to make new goals based on the calendar rather than on a true desire for a timely change. Plants don't grow at a rate determined by what date it is- they change because of factors like sunlight, temperature, moisture and nutrients. And global climate change has shown us how plants' growth changes as a result of these factors rather than what particular moment in time is may be.

Back to my resolution: Early this year I decided that I would work on my relationships and communication. With so many friends and family members abroad, it takes a great deal of effort to stay in touch. I've been very grateful for tools like Facebook and Myspace to facilitate staying in touch. It's provided me with reminders that their lives go on and change right alongside my own and I can see some of what goes on in their days. I came to realise however that what was developing was an interactive show that I was viewing as an outsider. Like watching Big Brother I could see their actions and feel some of what they felt. I could voice my opinion and encourage or taunt them. But what's happened is that we haven't seen our friendships grown or strenthened. They've stayed the same or in some cases it's allowed us to keep contact very minimal.

One particular relationship in my life that thankfully has not been relegated to the form of a 15" screen came to mind recently and I realised that it's actually very similar in nature to those that have been. I suddenly have become aware of how the other individual is tired of a life of status updates, comments, 'likes' and only the occassional private message. And as a result of the way I often choose to relate to this person, our relationship has become increasingly shallow and I wonder how well we're really acquainted.

I, like many Christians, find myself 'commenting' God, posting brief messages on his wall just to let him know I'm thinking of him, or just 'liking' something he's done or said. I've fallen in a terrible discipline of not investing my time, energy or presence in our relationship. What would become of a marriage lived that way or of children brought up that way? Not only would the people not grow but their relationships would suffer.

I know so many followers of Christ who when asked how their prayer lives are or what that even looks like for them, they'll confidently say they spend time with God throughout the day, thanking him or saying brief prayers. While doing that is enormously important to our relationships with him, it simply cannot amount to that alone. Just as you cannot expect to know someone deeply via texting with only the occassional coffee meetup, you cannot begin to know the Endless One this way.

So how many of us are living the lie of belief ('I believe in God', 'I believe I know him') and not building a relationship with him ('I know him intimately more and more')?

Many of us shudder at the mention of the word I'm about to use because of the connotation it's taken on and the way it's been used as a weapon against people's consciences rather than as an agent of healing. But it remains a word- or rather a necessary action for the follower of Christ (notice I say follower, not believer). Repentence.

Repent, for God's kingdom is close! Change your mind- change your allegience- change your relationship with Him!

I reckon that if the Queen or the President were on Facebook a LOT of people would be in their 'friends' lists. A lot of people would leave comments. But a very tiny minority would walk with and know them deeply.

So where does our personal and communal relationship with God fall? How often do we 'see' him? Are we afraid of meeting up and investing time and our lives into this relationship? What keeps us from doing so?

The comforting thing is this: God is so gracious. He's not condemning or rejecting us based on what rubbish followers we may be (nor is he accepting and loving us more if we're great followers). Just like one of those friendships where you feel as if you were never apart after years of having not seen one another- you pick up where you left off- God remains waiting for us. He doesn't want us to visit him and spend our time apologising and grovelling or to allow us to feel so bad that our relationship is forever damaged. He just wants to move on.

So will you spend quality time with him today? Listening to him. Loving him deeply. Weeping or laughing hysterically.

He's waiting eagerly.