Wednesday 28 April 2010

The Facebook Diss

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One of the exciting things about Facebook is the ability to connect with a variety of people from one's past and present at different levels even from a distance. Some of these friendships may be more agreeable, others not so much. Yet because of some common connection, be it a period in life, an interest or a common friend, we chose to label these people as 'friends' and share snippets of our lives with them and engage with their snippets in some form.

What happens to these friendships that are not so agreeable when those parts of our lives that conflict with one another become more apparent either through direct conversation or just the very presence of those snippets? I have just finished sending a very courteous message to an old Facebook friend who I realised deleted me recently asking what prompted her to take this action- I'm curious, really! We'd had some, I felt, decent dialogues about some political and religious statements made via Facebook but we always came to an amiable agree-to-disagree conclusion or we were able to see some kind of good in what one another was saying. We never did diss each other or get into a nasty fight. But clearly something occurred that has put her off of me.

It's made me think about the way that children engage in conflict. Oftentimes they take the route of 'silent treatment' or just avow themselves to no longer being friends whether that fact is communicated clearly or not. I wonder if Facebook is cultivating this approach to conflict and relational breakdown as well? I think there's a difference in culling one's friend list due to inactivity or indifference, but to have someone leave others on their list who are just as distant but more 'agreeable' just drop you seems to be a different case altogether. Will we in the future find that this impacts the way we deal with (or perhaps don't deal with but just move on from) conflict? Will this effect the relationships we choose to carry on ('I agree with your politics' or 'You don't say much that ruffles my feathers'), making our 'networks' even more homogeneous?

Food for thought.

Wednesday 14 April 2010

'Alright I'll Cave' - November 2007

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I dug this oldie up and dusted it off from Myspace. Hope you enjoy it.... he still makes me feel the same way!


November 20, 2007


I've had quite a past of writing about relationship woes... rather.... the woes of absent relationships. I've blogged about weirdos with hygeine problems. I've blogged about hiding behind racks of clothing to get away from dudes in pursuit. I've blogged about beat poets resembling Greek gods. I've blogged about hopes, dreams, what-if's and pity-parties. And yet... I have avoided blogging about the current 'In a Relationship' status to save your stomaches from turning or to keep the 'awwwwww's to a minimum. Even now I'm going to take a few gulps of wine and divulge here that I have met someone massively awesome. *pause for effect and a bit of blush (of the wine sort)*

I'm going to spare you the details of how we met and just say we've known each other for about a year yet never spoke. Both of us were in bad places at the time and frankly, we weren't terribly impressed by one another. Affiliations and work happened to throw us into the same boat at the end of the summer and finally we concluded that we needed to sit down for a good get to know you chat. Several coffee dates later, a few films, many more-than-bizarre conversations later, we decided that we should try this thing.... this thing called... 'us.' *cue Barry White*

Okay so now I've got this guy who I've grown rather fondly attached to (and hopefully he will comment at the end of this letting you all know that he too is rather fond of me hint hint ) in a pretty short amount of time. But I guess it's time I jumped on my 'I waited a long freaking time to be this happy and I'm going to tell the world' bandwagon. *cue sweaty televangelist Vickie, feverishly wiping dripping brow with hanky while inserting grunts after every important point, beckoning the necessary amens in all the right places*

Ladies: I have found that having high expectations is perfectly fine. True- you won't get everything you wanted. My Rob isn't very handy at DIY. But then I am. So hooray I get to hang all the shelves in the future unless I want them to crash down onto the floor. I always thought I'd end up with someone over 6'. Guess what? Turns out that someone just a few inches taller than me is a hell of a lot better. I thought he'd have dark hair. Nope. And you know what.... I couldn't have asked for any better. Sure he does make me want to beat him senselesssometimes but he's a man, I'm a woman and our brains just don't work the same sometimes (poor guy hahhaha ).

Okay, now for the sappy, this is how Rob treats me bit (because he's been chomping at the bit for me to publicly share all this hard work he's been putting into us- guys, this is your cue to get your notebooks).

- Rob likes to cuddle. I like to cuddle. We cuddle and he looks down at me and tells me things like "You look like a little eskimo", "You're so pretty", and simply "I love you."

- Rob goes into hysterical laughing fits because he thinks I'm cute. He just can't take it. (who could!?)

- Rob gets 1000 free texts each month. A good portion of these are spent sending letter-by-letter messages or xoxo's. He's also become accustomed to texting me comic strips in the mornings when he's on his way to university.

- Rob puts up with (and seems to understand) my silliness. I once cheered him up by pretending to be a turtle and demonstrating what it would look like for a turtle to kiss him.

- He has no adversion to talking about our grandchildren. He even brings the subject up himself.

- This past weekend I was not in a very good mood on Friday. He didn't know this but he called to see if we could meet at Starbucks for a coffee date. I showed up, less than glowing, to find that he'd somehow secured purple tulips (my favourite flower ever), he bought me coffee, listened to my crap (with a great deal of concern), then bought me pizza for dinner, prayed for me, and was generally awesome. The next day he held me while I sobbed for no real reason, prayed for me some more, and was generally awesome once again. The following day he also took me out for dinner. (and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few things in there somewhere...)

- Rob sings me songs all the time. Sometimes they're really silly, like comparing me to the flashing light on top of Canary Wharf. Other times it's all I can do to not cry.

I don't really know what I did to deserve this guy. I don't know how he puts up with me. I really really don't know how he can love me so much. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks sweetheart. You have the power of taking away my speech.